BODY LANGUAGE (THE MESSAGE BEHIND THE SMILE)

Anyone dealing with people from other cultures can expect difficulties if s/he is not aware of the non-verbal signs that others use to express their feelings, that 'silent language' that accompanies and augments the spoken language. In fact, what people do is often more revealing than what they say!
When an Australian greets someone, s/he normally looks the other in the eyes, smiles, and extends a strong, firm handshake. This is customary to show that s/he is honest, straight-forward, sincere and friendly, although businesslike. But in Zaire, a woman introduced to a man who then smiled at him would be considered to be behaving improperly.
Do you look someone straight in the eyes when you are talking to him or her? A Briton will tend to do that much more so than an American, who probably has been brought up to believe that it is impolite to gaze fixedly at someone. But it is not unusual for an Arab to stare at someone to show that he is paying attention. The way an American will look at an Arab only occasionally, even while speaking to him/her, will seem to the Arab to be showing inattentiveness and a lack of interest. In Korea, however, people think Americans always seem to fix others with their gaze in a most sinister way, while Koreans in the United States say that often they do not know what to do with their eyes. Brought up to always look away, they feel embarrassed when called upon to respond to the relatively steady looks of Americans.
In the United Kingdom, and really in all native English-speaking countries, it is important to look someone in the eyes when you want to show you are trustworthy and honest. Immigrants and foreign visitors to the United States can run into problems with this. In Puerto Rico for example, when you appear before a figure of authority, it is only proper to look away as a sign of respect. Yet an American might very well interpret this as an evasiveness and a sign of dishonesty!
Your face can change the meaning of a gesture made with your hands. The difference can make a world of difference in how a hand gesture is interpreted. Many gestures that might be interpreted as hostile if made while frowning can easily be changed into a sign of friendliness and "just fooling around" if made while smiling.
To a Frenchman or Englishman, making a zero with the thumb and forefinger indicates that everything is O.K. - if made while smiling. If made while frowning, it means that everything is probably O.K. but conveys some doubt and suspicion. Yet for a Japanese that same hand gesture means money!
For many Westerners, an easy relaxed posture is to stand with your hands on your hips, or with just front pants pockets. But an Indonesian attending an American university spent many miserable weeks because of this, as he thought this posture means aggression. And for him, it did, since in Javanese and Sundanese wayang mythology hostile figures who are quarrelling or going to fight will stand with their arms like that as an expression of anger, challenge or hostility, in some other cultures, this position indicates arrogance, that you think you're better than or superior to the person you're speaking to.
But there are no dictionaries of non-verbal language that you can consult when you arrive in a foreign country. A researcher named Ray Birdwhistell wrote that he had not found any single gesture that means the same thing in all countries. "A body can be bowed in grief, humility, aggression, or laughter. A smile in one country shows friendliness, in another embarrassment, and in still another may contain a warning that unless tension is reduced, hostility and attack will follow."
Imagine a group of foreigners arriving at Los Angeles International Airport. As they are getting off the plane, a friendly official beckons them over to the airport bus. Not only does he use his left hand (which in many countries is regarded as improper) but he probably waves them towards him with the palm of his hand upturned. Several of the newcomers think they are being regarded as children or animals because of this. There are plenty of empty seats on the bus, but several people sit down next to Americans when they could have had a seat by themselves. The Americans, who have always been taught to keep their distance, find this most uncomfortable and edge away with unpleasant expressions on their faces. The visitors start to wonder if maybe they forgot to brush their teeth or something. A Thai finds himself sitting next to a Dutchman who is wearing open sandals, and is sitting with his big toe pointing straight at the Thai. The Thai feels hurt by what he perceives as an insult.
The group of travellers now goes into the terminal and decides to ask for information about taxis and hotels at the information desk. They see a clerk sitting behind the desk with a line of people standing in silence in front of him. One of the group, a Colombian, thinks that they are not interested in talking to the clerk and so he walks straight up to the desk and asks the clerk for help. He then feels very hurt when several people in the line, and the clerk, ask him to go to the end of the line-up and wait his turn. In English speaking-countries, it is enough to stand before a desk or counter to make it known that you want something. Additionally it is considered quite rude to try to go ahead of others who are lined-up and waiting. But that is not the case in Colombia where people do not queue, and must ask for service if they want anyone to pay attention to them.
There happens to be a reception committee to meet our group and the committee members also come from different countries. The Indonesians smile to themselves when they see the members of a French family kissing each other. That is an act of love-making that should be done in private ... isn't it? Two Arabs surprise the rest by throwing their arms around each other in a warm embrace. A Polynesian visitor is greeted by a fellow-countryman who is now living in the U.S., and the newcomer gives him a friendly hug and starts rubbing his back.
A Chinese gentlemen is trying to avoid shaking hands with a German - the Chinese do not like to be touched. Meanwhile, a mother from Laos has just seen an Italian give her son a friendly pat on the head, and she is desperately trying to save her other children from the same 'terrible fate' - in Laos, the head is the home of the soul and must not be touched.
The countless meanings of time, a different consept in each culture cause endless confusion. An Australian or a German instinctively expects a meeting to start at the time that has been agreed upon. In Costa Rica, however, it is perfectly normal to have to wait 45 minutes to see an important official (or at least one who thinks he is important). A Canadian kept waiting for 45 minutes would feel insulted.
When someone from Spanish-speaking Latin America says 'manana' (pron. man-yan-na), someone from the United States would think he meant 'tomorrow', and most bilingual dictionaries would confirm that. But the Latino might mean tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week, next year, or not at all! Thus a more accurate cultural translation would be "not today".
The Germans and Swiss tend to be more time-conscious than Americans and they have no concept that is similar to the Indonesian 'rubber-time' (jam karet). But the Sioux Indians go even further. In their language there are no words for 'time', 'late' or 'waiting'.
If a business deal is being struck between a Canadian and someone from India, endless confusion may result when the Canadian asks the Indian if s/he agrees. The Indian responds by shaking his/her head from side to side - in India it means "yes", while in Canada it means "no".
From all of the above, it can be seen that what is polite and proper in one culture may or may not be in another and that one people's system of politeness is no more or less polite than another people's system - just different!
So, when you are talking to someone from a different cultural background, watch and think about the different ways in which you both use your hands. Also notice how close to each other you want to stand. Asians in general stand much closer than Westerners. How close one should stand varies from culture to culture and it is possible to make other people very uncomfortable by standing too close or too far away. Try to keep an open mind and not to have preconceived notions about what is polite or proper and what is not.
Above all try not to judge others by your culture's rules - those rules do not apply to those people outside your culture.

Source : Peter Burgess, Body Language The Message Behind The Smile, Hello Magazines, No. 22, September 1987.